Last time I was there old Lizzy knocked me up a salmon sannie, got caught that morning on the banks of the river dee, but she ferked it up, she cut the crusts off.

There was some strange looking dago type wandering around I asked him if they had any decent grub knocking around, effer came back with a plate of moussaka, jess you daft twat get back in the kitchen and just bring me a corned beef sannie with colmans mustard, how difficult can it be, you do speak english dont you you balt twat?

He belted some guy with wing nut ears and told him to get it sorted, sat there waiting, just at that moment Michael fagan walked in, wine glass in hand, he too was less than pleased with the service.

Have to wonder, whatever do the chinese tourists think of the place.