oldie
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Post by oldie on Jan 25, 2022 4:49:26 GMT 7
I'll be happy to shout you ice cold beers Smokie. Anyone who's silly enough to track me down either in Thailand or Australia deserves it. There are times in Australia when the closest people on Earth to Oldie are the astronauts on the International Space Station, and they're not even on Earth.
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smokie36
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Post by smokie36 on Jan 26, 2022 7:50:36 GMT 7
I'll be happy to shout you ice cold beers Smokie. Anyone who's silly enough to track me down either in Thailand or Australia deserves it. There are times in Australia when the closest people on Earth to Oldie are the astronauts on the International Space Station, and they're not even on Earth. Next Jan/Feb we'll be in Adelaide, Melbourne and Sydney. We need one other spot...so where should we not miss anyone?
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chiangmai
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Post by chiangmai on Jan 26, 2022 8:12:59 GMT 7
Alice Springs, go see the real Australia where men are men and women are Shelia's. Afterwards, you could climb Ayers Rock, does that not seem like too much fun to you?
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oldie
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Post by oldie on Jan 26, 2022 11:14:07 GMT 7
I'll be happy to shout you ice cold beers Smokie. Anyone who's silly enough to track me down either in Thailand or Australia deserves it. There are times in Australia when the closest people on Earth to Oldie are the astronauts on the International Space Station, and they're not even on Earth. Next Jan/Feb we'll be in Adelaide, Melbourne and Sydney. We need one other spot...so where should we not miss anyone? Birdsville. There's nothing there except a pub and sand. I'll meet you there.
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oldie
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Post by oldie on Jan 26, 2022 11:21:44 GMT 7
I'll be happy to shout you ice cold beers Smokie. Anyone who's silly enough to track me down either in Thailand or Australia deserves it. There are times in Australia when the closest people on Earth to Oldie are the astronauts on the International Space Station, and they're not even on Earth. Next Jan/Feb we'll be in Adelaide, Melbourne and Sydney. We need one other spot...so where should we not miss anyone? Do a river cruise. They're cheap as chips and I haven't heard a bad word. The Murray River is handy to Adelaide. I've never done it but it's on the list. I did a little River excursion in Longreach and it was a fun night out. Either way, head North or West young man, get out of the big smoke. Fraser Island is another option. Do a tour, let some other bugger do the driving.
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oldie
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Post by oldie on Jan 26, 2022 11:25:11 GMT 7
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rubl
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Post by rubl on Jan 26, 2022 14:27:47 GMT 7
Next Jan/Feb we'll be in Adelaide, Melbourne and Sydney. We need one other spot...so where should we not miss anyone? Do a river cruise. They're cheap as chips and I haven't heard a bad word. The Murray River is handy to Adelaide. I've never done it but it's on the list. I did a little River excursion in Longreach and it was a fun night out. Either way, head North or West young man, get out of the big smoke. Fraser Island is another option. Do a tour, let some other bugger do the driving. I crossed the Murray by ferry early 1995. Also nice. Took the car and from Adelaide went up-North and after hours of getting further into nowhere I turned right till I got to the Murray. Think I crossed it two or three times before getting to Murray Bridge. BTW you might also want to have a look at the main tourist spot, Kangaroo Island. Mind you, some have it Barossa Valley is the place to be, or the breweries around Hahndorf.
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smokie36
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Post by smokie36 on Jan 26, 2022 16:01:39 GMT 7
Do a river cruise. They're cheap as chips and I haven't heard a bad word. The Murray River is handy to Adelaide. I've never done it but it's on the list. I did a little River excursion in Longreach and it was a fun night out. Either way, head North or West young man, get out of the big smoke. Fraser Island is another option. Do a tour, let some other bugger do the driving. I crossed the Murray by ferry early 1995. Also nice. Took the car and from Adelaide went up-North and after hours of getting further into nowhere I turned right till I got to the Murray. Think I crossed it two or three times before getting to Murray Bridge. BTW you might also want to have a look at the main tourist spot, Kangaroo Island. Mind you, some have it Barossa Valley is the place to be, or the breweries around Hahndorf. Hahndorf is indeed very lovely and I have family living in the Barossa...so a wine tour and barbie is a near certainty.
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rubl
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Post by rubl on Jan 26, 2022 20:13:11 GMT 7
My old Ozzie friend in Sydney just mailed me a bit for Australia Day.
AUSTRALIA AND AUSTRALIANS
The following has been written by the late Douglas Adams of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" fame.
"Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognisable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge into the girting sea.
Geologists assure us that this is simply an accident of geomorphology, but they still call it the "Great Australian Bight", proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory but they can't spell either.
The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the place. Where other landmasses and sovereign lands are classified as continent, island or country, Australia is considered all three.
Typically, it is unique in this.
The second confusing thing about Australia is the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep. It is true that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9 of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them.
Any visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them on), under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else.
A stick is very useful for this task.
The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants.
A short history: Sometime around 40,000 years ago some people arrived in boats from the north. They ate all the available food, and a lot of them died.
The ones who survived learned respect for the balance of nature, man's proper place in the scheme of things, and spiders. They settled in and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange stories. They also discovered a stick that kept coming back.
Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the north.
More accurately, European convicts were sent, with a few deranged people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in autumn (failing to take account of the reversal of the seasons), ate all their food, and a lot of them died.
About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever since. It is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since they can lie, cheat, steal and litigate (marks of a civilised culture they say), whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being left in the middle of a vast red-hot desert - equipped with a stick.
Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on 'extended holiday' and became Australians. The changes are subtle, but deep, caused by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet, where a person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves to the core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the necessity of checking inside their boots every morning for fatal surprises. They also picked up the most finely tuned sense of irony in the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories. Be warned.
There is also the matter of the beaches. Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the world, although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stonefish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill just from the pain) and surfboarders. However, watching a beach sunset is worth the risk.
As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a sour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger. Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile disarmingly and look for a stick. Major engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string and mud.
Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass is greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the land "Oz" or "Godzone" (a verbal contraction of "God's Own Country"). The irritating thing about this is... they may be right.
TIPS TO SURVIVING AUSTRALIA
Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason - WHATSOEVER.
The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is.
Always carry a stick.
Air-conditioning is imperative.
Do not attempt to use Australian slang unless you are a trained linguist and extremely good in a fist fight.
Wear thick socks.
Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby.
If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die. And don't forget a stick.
Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.
HOW TO IDENTIFY AUSTRALIANS
They pronounce Melbourne as "Mel-bin".
They think it makes perfect sense to decorate highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
They think "Woolloomooloo" is a perfectly reasonable name for a place, that "Wagga Wagga" can be abbreviated to "Wagga", but "Woy Woy" can't be called "Woy".
Their hamburgers will contain beetroot. Apparently it's a must-have.
How else do you get a stain on your shirt?
They don't think it's summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle.
They believe that all train timetables are works of fiction.
And they all carry a stick.. 😊 🇦🇺
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smokie36
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Post by smokie36 on Jan 26, 2022 22:03:19 GMT 7
You killed Steve Irwin ya bastards!
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oldie
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Post by oldie on Jan 27, 2022 8:50:37 GMT 7
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rubl
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Post by rubl on Jan 27, 2022 10:16:42 GMT 7
Well sh..., had to look up a few words bogan - an uncouth or unsophisticated person regarded as being of low social status wowser (chiefly Australia) - an obtrusively puritanical person gronk (Australia) - someone who is an A-class dickhead. They act like a fool but think they are the greatest. Best example of a Gronk is Daisy, aka Chihuahua, aka Mercedes. PS I like the Townsville Hospital warning not to lick unwashed walls because its unsanitary and poses a health risk
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