That one with the pork chop - I was drinking with a mad, bald, Irishman in Germany in 1992. He went home, grilled a pork chop, and stuck itvbetween some bread. Bit in, pulled at it, and the chop came flying out and settled on his head, leaving a beautiful chop shape burn mark

My lips are sealed.

Sorry...as soon as I heard an American accent couldn't watch further...

Joko's movies are OK though...theres just certain tones in some Americans voices I can't bear.

Similar to how some people cant stand scratching on a black board/chalk board for the PC

Now is eating food was a sin we have one real sinner there.......
proof is in the photos on the web...honest.

Friend of mine left the deep frier on from a drunk 3am until lunchtime the next day when he woke from the coma.

I got a call to 'come round and look'

How he survived I still say god blessed his stupid drunk actions that night but the goldfish who's bowl was in the kitchen had all died , the exhaust fan over the stove had melted out of the ceiling over the stove which you could see ceiling joists charcoal black , but the bit that made me laugh was him sitting on the lounge chair with 2 black soot lines under each nostril saying wtf have I done!

Every room , and I mean every room in the 2 bed unit was completely black from soot damage. The place was that bad insurance demolished it and rebuilt.

So many stories, so little time...

Highlights only

1. Setting fire to a kitchen ceiling frying samosas, not directly me but in the vicinity

2. Again in the vicinity when a buddy fell off a balcony about 12 foot from ground level, landed on his back in the shrubbery and never split a drop

3. A new years eve party that went on for 3 days, see under 1.

4. Getting evicted from a camping site by the Rozzers for drunken unchristian behaviour

5. Stealing the neighbours fridge from his kitchen and hiding it in the bush

6. Getting shot at by the old German land owner, at 02:00am while driving a landrover over his farm with his son in the vehicle, luckly the German owner was nearly 80 and going blind, so not much chance of getting hit...

7. Another landrover with a dodgy hand break ending up in Hartbeespoort Dam

8. Getting into a punch up at a local pub, buddy splits his hand to the bone, myself and another take him to hospital, at 23:00, while he is in getting his hand stitched up, we got bored and found some wheel chairs to play in and got caught by the other guys girlfriend playing Ironside in the corridors, she was a nurse there and had just come on shift, not amused and wouldnt speak to him for weeks or me for that matter