rubl
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Post by rubl on May 7, 2021 8:30:18 GMT 7
^^| I've been here in Thailand since 1994. I can tell you, a bum gun has certain advantages
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chiangmai
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Post by chiangmai on May 7, 2021 10:03:17 GMT 7
"a fine strong tissue"....scientists were working on a successor to IZAL when they invented kevlar instead. Did I ever mention my hemorrhoid operation? There is nothing more humbling than laying on a hinged operating table with your arse in the air and realizing there are about twenty student nurses lined up against the wall at the back of the room and there's not a damned thing in the world you can do about it. Whenever I see pictures or movies that involve operations in the UK there's only ever three or perhaps four people in the room. In Thailand, let me tell you, somebody must stand out in the street and hand out notices to passers by...."3pm, Operation on CM's arse, free, refreshments served afterwards, free parking, everyone welcome". If you don't get at least twenty people in the operating theatre, I'd be very suspicious about the hospital. And there's another very important aspect of hemorrhoid's operations that nobody every talks about and that's the after effect, what happens once your arse has been redesigned. Ordinarily, the orfice in question is fairly symmetrical, it's equal on both sides which means when something is ejected from it, it comes out pretty much at a 90 degree angle and goes straight down. BUT, after someone has hacked a chunk out of one side or the other, all that changes and ejection then takes place at around a 60 degree angle or in my case, closer to 45 degrees. In order to compensate for that problem it's necessary to do the business whilst leaning 45 degrees in the opposite direction which I can tell you is quite an art form. They never tell you these things before hand but now you know. I've been putting my operation off for 40 years. Just have to put it off for another 40. After a few years you find your self walking around the same way, always leaning at a 45 degree angle. Even the TV in our house has a pile of books under one corner so I can watch programs normally. Eating dinner....that's a whole other story. And I want you to know I'm not making this up, it's all true.
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oldie
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Post by oldie on May 7, 2021 10:22:00 GMT 7
I've been putting my operation off for 40 years. Just have to put it off for another 40. After a few years you find your self walking around the same way, always leaning at a 45 degree angle. Even the TV in our house has a pile of books under one corner so I can watch programs normally. Eating dinner....that's a whole other story. And I want you to know I'm not making this up, it's all true. I've never heard anyone who had a haemorrhoids operation go "Hey that was fun"
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chiangmai
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Post by chiangmai on May 7, 2021 13:03:35 GMT 7
After a few years you find your self walking around the same way, always leaning at a 45 degree angle. Even the TV in our house has a pile of books under one corner so I can watch programs normally. Eating dinner....that's a whole other story. And I want you to know I'm not making this up, it's all true. I've never heard anyone who had a haemorrhoids operation go "Hey that was fun" More seriously Oldie....it's a very easy operation and recovery is very straight forward, there's no bad aspect to it really.
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siampolee
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Post by siampolee on May 7, 2021 14:04:11 GMT 7
Why not get one of the local lady boys to give your ringpiece a good reaming? Save you money, give the "operative" great pleasure.Surely we have members amongst us who could recommend an operative for such treatment?
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chiangmai
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Post by chiangmai on May 7, 2021 14:39:27 GMT 7
Why not get one of the local lady boys to give your ringpiece a good reaming? Save you money, give the "operative" great pleasure.Surely we have members amongst us who could recommend an operative for such treatment? I'd need to be dead first, that's the only way that is possible.
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rubl
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The wondering type
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Post by rubl on May 7, 2021 14:58:22 GMT 7
Why not get one of the local lady boys to give your ringpiece a good reaming? Save you money, give the "operative" great pleasure.Surely we have members amongst us who could recommend an operative for such treatment? I'd need to be dead first, that's the only way that is possible. Mind you, your condition would neither improve nor would you have any fun then
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oldie
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Post by oldie on May 7, 2021 15:32:16 GMT 7
Why not get one of the local lady boys to give your ringpiece a good reaming? Save you money, give the "operative" great pleasure.Surely we have members amongst us who could recommend an operative for such treatment? I'll stick to the wax suppositories and vitamin K. Much more user friendly.
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oldie
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Post by oldie on May 7, 2021 15:33:32 GMT 7
I've never heard anyone who had a haemorrhoids operation go "Hey that was fun" More seriously Oldie....it's a very easy operation and recovery is very straight forward, there's no bad aspect to it really. Thanks CM. I can't wait to check in tomorrow.
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oldie
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Post by oldie on May 7, 2021 15:55:13 GMT 7
I've never heard anyone who had a haemorrhoids operation go "Hey that was fun" More seriously Oldie....it's a very easy operation and recovery is very straight forward, there's no bad aspect to it really. I admire your courage, but I faint watching someone else squeezing a pimple. If leggo was invented before God then you could just punch your cracked butt out and replace it with another. But alas....
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chiangmai
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Post by chiangmai on May 7, 2021 15:57:29 GMT 7
More seriously Oldie....it's a very easy operation and recovery is very straight forward, there's no bad aspect to it really. I admire your courage, but I faint watching someone else squeezing a pimple. If leggo was invented before God then you could just punch your cracked butt out and replace it with another. But alas.... No need to worry about fainting, you couldn't possible watch your own hemorrhoid operation, even if you wanted to.
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oldie
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Post by oldie on May 7, 2021 16:08:55 GMT 7
I admire your courage, but I faint watching someone else squeezing a pimple. If leggo was invented before God then you could just punch your cracked butt out and replace it with another. But alas.... No need to worry about fainting, you couldn't possible watch your own hemorrhoid operation, even if you wanted to. I can't even watch that shit on tv. Ok, back to my refrigeration plant. ...
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chiangmai
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Post by chiangmai on May 8, 2021 13:25:29 GMT 7
Thank God, finally.....Bugatti has invented a self-leveling pool table for use on the yacht which adjusts in real-time, I was so worried nobody would solve this problem, now I can sleep more easily at night: For a mere £217,000 sophisticated computer technology will ensure the table remains perfectly level as their boat ploughs through the waters of the Mediterranean or the Persian Gulf. Already Sheik Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan, the Emir of Abu Dhabi, is thought to have expressed an interest in buying one of the Bugatti pool tables for his 180m yacht, the £400 million Azzam. Only 30 of the limited edition pool tables will be manufactured by the French-based firm and they are all expected to sell out within days of being released over the coming weeks. Bugatti says the self-stabilising mechanism of the pool tables, made of precision carbon fibre, machined aluminum and corrosion-proof titanium, allows players to pot with ease as their yacht ploughs through the waves or sit moored in luxury marinas and island coves. The firm boasts that “an optional servo-driven system deploys a gyroscopic sensor to level the table” and that “each leg can move to compensate for the movement of a ship and remain perfectly level. The system can adjust in just five milliseconds, and the movement is completed in total silence with vibration-free adjustment”. www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/05/07/bugatti-sells-200k-self-levelling-table-superyacht-owners-want/
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oldie
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Post by oldie on May 8, 2021 14:14:12 GMT 7
Thank God, finally.....Bugatti has invented a self-leveling pool table for use on the yacht which adjusts in real-time, I was so worried nobody would solve this problem, now I can sleep more easily at night: For a mere £217,000 sophisticated computer technology will ensure the table remains perfectly level as their boat ploughs through the waters of the Mediterranean or the Persian Gulf. Already Sheik Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan, the Emir of Abu Dhabi, is thought to have expressed an interest in buying one of the Bugatti pool tables for his 180m yacht, the £400 million Azzam. Only 30 of the limited edition pool tables will be manufactured by the French-based firm and they are all expected to sell out within days of being released over the coming weeks. Bugatti says the self-stabilising mechanism of the pool tables, made of precision carbon fibre, machined aluminum and corrosion-proof titanium, allows players to pot with ease as their yacht ploughs through the waves or sit moored in luxury marinas and island coves. The firm boasts that “an optional servo-driven system deploys a gyroscopic sensor to level the table” and that “each leg can move to compensate for the movement of a ship and remain perfectly level. The system can adjust in just five milliseconds, and the movement is completed in total silence with vibration-free adjustment”. www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2021/05/07/bugatti-sells-200k-self-levelling-table-superyacht-owners-want/I'd like to see a self leveling boat.
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rubl
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Post by rubl on May 8, 2021 14:28:09 GMT 7
^^| Oldie has a point there. If the pool table is staying level but you yourself are being flung in corners because the ship is dancing in a mild BF5 spell, that's still no fun. And then I haven't yet started about holding my glass or keeping small snacks on my plate.
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