I cycled to the 7-11 yesterday, bought a bottle of Jameson’s and put it in the cycle basket.

As I was about to leave I thought that if I fell off the bike the bottle would break. So, to be on the safe side, I drank the whiskey before I cycled home.

It turned out to be a very good decision as I fell off my bike 7 times on the way home.

My attractive female neighbour is completely paranoid, she thinks I'm stalking or following her.

She's worried that I may be obsessed with her and anytime she hears a noise in her house she is... purified.

Wait, hold on: "petrified".

Sorry, it's not easy reading a diary through binoculars from a tree.

Prince Charles visiting a new hospital asks a patient how he’s doing.

The reply is “The best laid schemes o' mice an' men Gang aft a-gley,”

The second one says “O, my Luve is like a red, red rose, That’s newly sprung in June.”

Third: “ Wee, sleekit, cow’rin, tim’rous beastie, O, what a panic’s in thy breastie!”

Charlie boy asks the doctor if this is a mental illness ward?

“No your highness, this is the serious burns unit”

I once took the pee out of a pirate.
He was furious!

(For Smokey, if you send me a text to let me know when you are free I will be able to explain this to you).

Even though I understand that it is a joke and I posted it, I still automatically tilt my head every time that I see this picture.
Does this mean that I will soon be taken of the BBQ's blocked list?