chiangmai
Crazy Mango Extraordinaire
Posts: 6,567
Likes: 5,691
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Post by chiangmai on Oct 20, 2019 8:04:50 GMT 7
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic's shop to have his truck fixed.
They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket, and a gallon of paint.
He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost.
She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?'
The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.'
The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'
'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way, he says 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time.'
The little old lady looked him over cautiously, then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'
The farmer said, 'Holy Smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'
The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.'
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rott
Crazy Mango Extraordinaire
Posts: 3,957
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Post by rott on Oct 20, 2019 13:02:09 GMT 7
Disgraceful on a Sunday. What kind of example is this for young people?
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rubl
Crazy Mango Extraordinaire
The wondering type
Posts: 23,997
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Post by rubl on Oct 20, 2019 13:49:36 GMT 7
^^| I'm afraid CM checked first and only found old stogies around here. He better watch out, I'll get him for that
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rubl
Crazy Mango Extraordinaire
The wondering type
Posts: 23,997
Likes: 9,333
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Post by rubl on Oct 20, 2019 14:05:06 GMT 7
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rubl
Crazy Mango Extraordinaire
The wondering type
Posts: 23,997
Likes: 9,333
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Post by rubl on Oct 20, 2019 14:09:19 GMT 7
Since I'm an a roll
"My wife just bought a smart car.
It won't let her in"
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rubl
Crazy Mango Extraordinaire
The wondering type
Posts: 23,997
Likes: 9,333
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Post by rubl on Oct 20, 2019 14:32:39 GMT 7
A simplified urine test that may be relevant for all of us (old stogies)
Go outside and pee in the garden.
If ants gather: you got diabetes If you pee on your feet: you got prostate problems If it smells like a barbecue: you got cholesterol issues If when you shake it, your wrist hurts: you got osteoarthritis and if you return to your room with your penis outside your pants: Alzheimer's got you.
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