Post by siampolee on Jan 16, 2024 16:45:24 GMT 7
A leper walks into a cafe on a wet and miserable day, orders his food and looks for somewhere to sit. The place is packed apart from one guy sat alone at a table, so he shuffles over and explains that while he will quite understand if the guy says no, but is there any chance of sharing the table. The guy agrees, but the leper asks one more time, "Are you sure I won't put you off your food?" The man assures him so the leper sits and begins to eat. The man at the table brings a mouthful of food up and as he puts it in his mouth, looks directly at the leper and for a moment it seems he is about to vomit.
The leper pauses and says, "Are you OK? I will leave if I am putting you off your food." The man assures him this is not the case, so the leper continues to eat. A second time the man takes a mouthful of food and the same thing happens, though this time he has to make a serious effort not to throw up. The leper starts to get up, but the man apologises profusely and assures the leper that it is not him that is making him queasy. Unsure, but not wanting to eat outside in the rain, the leper once more starts to eat.
A third time the man takes a mouthful of food, and as he does so, looks directly at the leper and once more he is assailed by vomiting actions and this time he cannot hold it in, and sprays the contents of his stomach all over the table, everyone's food and the leper, who is incensed.
"You sick scumbag!" he screams, "Three times! Three times I asked you if I was putting you off your food, and now look at me! As if life wasn't tough enough already, my food is ruined and I am covered in foul smelling puke. What the hell is wrong with you?"
The man says, "I am really, really sorry, but I swear to you it wasn't you that was putting me off my food and making me feel sick. It was that evil fella behind you, who kept dipping his bread in the pus at the back of your neck!"
The leper pauses and says, "Are you OK? I will leave if I am putting you off your food." The man assures him this is not the case, so the leper continues to eat. A second time the man takes a mouthful of food and the same thing happens, though this time he has to make a serious effort not to throw up. The leper starts to get up, but the man apologises profusely and assures the leper that it is not him that is making him queasy. Unsure, but not wanting to eat outside in the rain, the leper once more starts to eat.
A third time the man takes a mouthful of food, and as he does so, looks directly at the leper and once more he is assailed by vomiting actions and this time he cannot hold it in, and sprays the contents of his stomach all over the table, everyone's food and the leper, who is incensed.
"You sick scumbag!" he screams, "Three times! Three times I asked you if I was putting you off your food, and now look at me! As if life wasn't tough enough already, my food is ruined and I am covered in foul smelling puke. What the hell is wrong with you?"
The man says, "I am really, really sorry, but I swear to you it wasn't you that was putting me off my food and making me feel sick. It was that evil fella behind you, who kept dipping his bread in the pus at the back of your neck!"
