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Post by jaywalker on Nov 20, 2015 13:05:45 GMT 7
I'm sure I have a few hundred of these, but I'll start off slow.
2nd time at Pattaya Beach, (before I had realized what a dump it is), I saw a couple teenagers chest deep & they grabbed the ubiquitous plastic bag floating nearby & one of them decided to use it as a dive mask.
He came up gasping for air & his mouth went WHAP! up against the plastic. I'm still laughing at that one.
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I was working at an upcountry RTA base Chayaphum or somewhere...I've been to to too many to recall which, & walked into the canteen, where a fat little old lady chef had an ancient fan with metal blades on it plugged into the wall with no plug, just bare wires stuck in the wall, and no shroud on it.
It looked purely EVIL, so I slowly wandered over to it, like a moth drawn to a flame, and ever so slowly reached out like I was going to stick my hand in the spinning blades.
They all thought I was nuts. Caused a bit of an uproar in the place. Still laughing about that one too. magnet-only-fools-and-horses-you-plonker
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Let's hear your stories?
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Post by Fletchsmile on Nov 22, 2015 21:29:37 GMT 7
Not done, but asked - was on an up country trip to the North-East late 1990's to a friends other half's place. Seemed a sensible question to me at least until I saw the reaction, and more one of those you had to be there. As anyone who's been up that way knows the common bathing area is like a concrete rectangular tank filled with water and there's usually bowls or whatever to scoop water over you. Well I took a look and realised it was sort of basic so asked, so what do I do, do I just climb in the tank? How do I let the water out? They just doubled over laughing at this dumb farang who didn't even know how to take a bath by himself.  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2015 21:41:53 GMT 7
Jeez I've just had one of those showers. The shittest shower ever.
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Post by Fletchsmile on Nov 22, 2015 21:44:45 GMT 7
One of my most embarassing moments was interviewing a "nice" girl from a good university background. I'd learnt form a Thai boss that for interviewing it's nice to ask a couple of questions to put Thai people at ease and maybe ask a little bit about family. So the conversation went like this: Me - "Do you have any brother or sisters" Her - "Yes" Me - "How many do you have" Her - "5" Me - "So which one are you" Her - "I'm the youngest" Now I'd also learnt from my Thai boss that they believe the older is more mature and responsible whereas the youngest is using to being looked after. So continuing with the theme of just keeping things light I smiled and jokingly said: Me- "so you must be a bit spoilt then" (joking look) Her reaction was a look of indignation Her - "No I'm not spoilt. I'm a good girl"  Now my Thai was unfortunately good enough at that stage to sort of guess where the misunderstanding probably came from in language translation. Centres around the word "sia" (for spoiled) and "sia tua" / "sia kwarmborisut" (lose one's virginity). So I realised exactly what she thought I'd said as she mistranslated the English word for word So there I am sat interviewing this poor girl and she thinks I've just asked her if she's been a bad girl and lost her virginity. Top university. Good family. I started to explain and then just thought no, better just throw the spade away and stop digging. I can only imagine what she told people later about this farang who had interviewed her that day |
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cc1
Crazy Mango Extraordinaire
hygiene inspector
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Post by cc1 on Nov 22, 2015 21:44:55 GMT 7
As stated before...used a bum gun as shower and thought about how clever the Thais are...
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smokie36
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Post by smokie36 on Nov 23, 2015 1:32:47 GMT 7
One of my most embarassing moments was interviewing a "nice" girl from a good university background. I'd learnt form a Thai boss that for interviewing it's nice to ask a couple of questions to put Thai people at ease and maybe ask a little bit about family. So the conversation went like this: Me - "Do you have any brother or sisters" Her - "Yes" Me - "How many do you have" Her - "5" Me - "So which one are you" Her - "I'm the youngest" Now I'd also learnt from my Thai boss that they believe the older is more mature and responsible whereas the youngest is using to being looked after. So continuing with the theme of just keeping things light I smiled and jokingly said: Me- "so you must be a spoilt then" (joking look) Her reaction was a look of indignation Her - "No I'm not spoilt. I'm a good girl" Now my Thai was unfortunately good enough at that stage to sort of guess where the misunderstanding probably came from in language translation. Centres around the word "sia" (for spoiled) and "sia tua" / "sia kwarmborisut" (lose one's virginity). So I realised exactly what she thought I'd said as she mistranslated the English word for word So there I am sat interviewing this poor girl and she thinks I've just asked her if she's been a bad girl and lost her virginity. Top university. Good family. I started to explain and then just thought no, better just throw the spade away and stop digging. I can only imagine what she told people later about this farang who had interviewed her that day Never had you down as a casting couch kinda guy!  |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 24, 2015 12:11:09 GMT 7
Embarrassing thing would be the time I got into the wrong car. My mate had moved his van and the same looking van parked in the same spot right out the front of a seikh temple. I just walked up to it, opened the passenger door and put my seatbelt on. I thought wtf is all these beads and statues in here? There was about 10 Indians all standing around staring at me...sorry, wrong car. Idiot.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 24, 2015 12:57:08 GMT 7
When I parked the car in a multistorey carpark in Sydney, came back with a trolley load of shopping and the car was gone. The guard called the police who 'found' it on the level below. I saw the black Land Rover similar to the one my car was next to, and empty car space and thought someone stole my car.
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buhi
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Post by buhi on Nov 24, 2015 14:40:50 GMT 7
When I parked the car in a multistorey carpark in Sydney, came back with a trolley load of shopping and the car was gone. The guard called the police who 'found' it on the level below. I saw the black Land Rover similar to the one my car was next to, and empty car space and thought someone stole my car. Yes, car parks, the times I have lost my car. Try to remember the row number, usually ok.
The worst was I went to collect my wife from hospital and my mind was not focused,; she had had an operation. Noted the number , even wrote it down, but the car park had some crazy system of numbers being the same on different levels.
Poor wife , stumbling along and me totally lost. Hell what level was it?
Told her to just stay put, I would retrace my steps and find it; indeed it was a level higher.
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pathumseb
Crazy Mango Extraordinaire
I found you at last!
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Post by pathumseb on Nov 24, 2015 16:22:37 GMT 7
Jumped into an empty swimming pool which resulted in a concussion and a overnight stay in a shabby Romanian hospital.
Licked a telephone cable as I wanted to know if they carried electricity. As it turns out, they do.
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siampolee
Detective
Alive alive O
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Post by siampolee on Nov 29, 2015 11:36:38 GMT 7
A number of years ago (1997 ish) due to a rash decision brought about by born again boyhood bravado and perhaps influenced by alcohol I infringed the conditions of my work permit by dancing on the counter of a bar in Soi Cowboy without any clothes on. The hostesses and the bar owner were delighted and highly appreciative of my stunning and somewhat exited ''upstanding'' performance and as a result thereafter whenever entering the establishment I was treated as a ''STAR.''The general comments from the clientele at the time due to their poor taste of my artistic performance consisted mainly of calls to ''Get em back on again mate'' from an uncouth audience of males, all of them were obviously jealous of my 15 minutes of stardom. Common as muck no quality tourist there!  |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2015 11:45:33 GMT 7
A number of years ago (1997 ish) due to a rash decision brought about by born again boyhood bravado and perhaps influenced by alcohol I infringed the conditions of my work permit by dancing on the counter of a bar in Soi Cowboy without any clothes on. The hostesses and the bar owner were delighted and highly appreciative of my stunning and somewhat exited ''upstanding'' performance and as a result thereafter whenever entering the establishment I was treated as a ''STAR.''The general comments from the clientele at the time due to their poor taste of my artistic performance consisted mainly of calls to ''Get em back on again mate'' from an uncouth audience of males, all of them were obviously jealous of my 15 minutes of stardom. Common as muck no quality tourist there! now that I would like to see. No clothes? Not even a fig leaf to cover your modesty? Hahahaha now where would all those panting women be slipping the baht bills if no underwear was present? 'Upstanding' performance who says you still haven't got it? Anything like this? |
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siampolee
Detective
Alive alive O
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Post by siampolee on Nov 29, 2015 11:47:29 GMT 7
I was way ahead full frontal and no fig leaf, sadly the girls couldn't find a banana tree leaf for me!!  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2015 11:52:08 GMT 7
Have you seen this movie? Full Monty, for all those with less than perfectly ripped bods, like this flick a lot.
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