curtaintwitcher
Crazy Mango
Majestically enthroned amid the vulgar herd
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Post by curtaintwitcher on Oct 30, 2016 16:51:37 GMT 7
...Prince Philip suggests she grab US politics by the pussy...
QUEEN OFFERS TO RESTORE BRITISH RULE OVER UNITED STATES By Andy Borowitz (Esquire)
LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—In an unexpected televised address on Saturday, Queen Elizabeth II offered to restore British rule over the United States of America.
Addressing the American people from her office in Buckingham Palace, the Queen said that she was making the offer “in recognition of the desperate situation you now find yourselves in.”
“This two-hundred-and-forty-year experiment in self-rule began with the best of intentions, but I think we can all agree that it didn’t end well,” she said.
The Queen urged Americans to write in her name on Election Day, after which the transition to British rule could begin “with a minimum of bother.”
Elizabeth acknowledged that, in the wake of Brexit, Americans might justifiably be alarmed about being governed by the British parliamentary system, but she reassured them, “Parliament would play no role in this deal. This would be an old-school monarchy. Just me, and then, assuming you’d rather not have Charles, we could go straight to William and those children of his who have mesmerized you so.”
Using the closing moments of her speech to tout her credentials, the Queen made it clear that she has never used e-mail and has only had sex with one person “very occasionally.”
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Post by stfranalum on Oct 30, 2016 20:11:12 GMT 7
love the borowitz report. it's a rich man's The Onion
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Post by Fletchsmile on Oct 31, 2016 14:05:05 GMT 7
Excellent
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rubl
Crazy Mango Extraordinaire
The wondering type
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Post by rubl on Oct 31, 2016 17:28:23 GMT 7
I'm not sure we Dutch would be willing to accept control of New Netherlands again, but maybe we can find a Roosevelt or van Buren the people oversea could accept as President of N.N.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2016 20:07:12 GMT 7
Who cares what a queen says ?
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Post by rgs2001uk on Oct 31, 2016 22:56:37 GMT 7
The South will rise again and rejoin The Empire. Kalifornia and Texas will be known as wet back country.
Who gives a toss about Neil Young, bloody left wing hippy canuk.
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buoyant
Crazy Mango
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Post by buoyant on Oct 31, 2016 22:58:32 GMT 7
I would love to suck on her tits again. Good times.
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Post by rgs2001uk on Oct 31, 2016 23:07:53 GMT 7
I would love to suck on her tits again. Good times. Is that you Michael Fagan? I heard they had granted you immunity when you entered the Witness Protection Programme, and reinvented yourself as a TEFLr, personally I would rather have done some bird, less painfull.
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smokie36
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Post by smokie36 on Nov 1, 2016 2:04:20 GMT 7
I would love to suck on her tits again. Good times. Is that you Michael Fagan? I heard they had granted you immunity when you entered the Witness Protection Programme, and reinvented yourself as a TEFLr, personally I would rather have done some bird, less painfull. "Suck harder...harder you peasant!" Not for all that kinda thing....some might enjoy it whilst wearing a tutu however.
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smokie36
Vigilante
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Post by smokie36 on Nov 1, 2016 2:05:48 GMT 7
Thinking about it the TEFLers could call it "situational comedy".
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curtaintwitcher
Crazy Mango
Majestically enthroned amid the vulgar herd
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Post by curtaintwitcher on Nov 1, 2016 5:46:10 GMT 7
some might enjoy it whilst wearing a tutu
...tentative tone detected...as if some of the be-tutu-ed might not enjoy "it"...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2016 8:05:07 GMT 7
"be-tutu-ed" ? ? ? Could hardly see why such students might not enjoy "it" ! ........................"tentative tone detected"........................ Took you a while but better late than never.
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