Post by bowie on Mar 19, 2017 21:41:23 GMT 7
Following from my reply to mick and before any try to take me down for the leaving all those years ago.
Not an excuse, a perspective.
I feel a need to explain.
Yes i did leave my sons over twenty years ago. Believe me that was not easy and not a day goes by when i do not recall that.
It was not a sudden walk out, far from it.
My ex wife decided my friend was to be her new partner.
I was rarely home, busy working, yes working, nothing else.
When home, a wreck to be honest.
Eldest son had very severe psychological problems.
The crunch came. Wife left with friend, son was excluded from school, my life was in ruins.
I told friend straight, this is not some love affair, much more is involved.
"Are you ready to take over my role as father?".
That is what he had walked into, ex wife's trap.
I stayed to be with my sons.
Then after a trip to Thailand, indeed things became very complex.
I was already in rehab, eldest son in care.
I lived in three homes (four if i include my sister's home), the ex family home, my apartment in Lancaster and the apartment in Pattaya.
It was impossible.
BUT, the real crunch was when my now wife came to live with me in Lancaster and also the family home.
Ex wife did not like that.
My now wife could not take it, returned to Thailand.
I stayed, but oh dear, then i was not a pleasant person.
I took the advice i knew was correct, from my psychiatrist, no she did not tell me, but i knew. I was a dead man walking and no good for my sons. It was destroying them as i destroyed myself.
No quick move, a well considered one.
I came back to Thailand with my sons.
Then they at least knew .
Pressure from ex was too intense then. She saw the threat, that i would take the children on my terms not hers.
She married my friend after the divorce.
"Friend, you' re now father, not me,
Enough , i have a life too and a love who waits for me and i will go,".
I did.
I returned to visit, to be in two places at once again, but it was impossible. I had to make my life.
So there you go.
Not an excuse, a perspective.
I feel a need to explain.
Yes i did leave my sons over twenty years ago. Believe me that was not easy and not a day goes by when i do not recall that.
It was not a sudden walk out, far from it.
My ex wife decided my friend was to be her new partner.
I was rarely home, busy working, yes working, nothing else.
When home, a wreck to be honest.
Eldest son had very severe psychological problems.
The crunch came. Wife left with friend, son was excluded from school, my life was in ruins.
I told friend straight, this is not some love affair, much more is involved.
"Are you ready to take over my role as father?".
That is what he had walked into, ex wife's trap.
I stayed to be with my sons.
Then after a trip to Thailand, indeed things became very complex.
I was already in rehab, eldest son in care.
I lived in three homes (four if i include my sister's home), the ex family home, my apartment in Lancaster and the apartment in Pattaya.
It was impossible.
BUT, the real crunch was when my now wife came to live with me in Lancaster and also the family home.
Ex wife did not like that.
My now wife could not take it, returned to Thailand.
I stayed, but oh dear, then i was not a pleasant person.
I took the advice i knew was correct, from my psychiatrist, no she did not tell me, but i knew. I was a dead man walking and no good for my sons. It was destroying them as i destroyed myself.
No quick move, a well considered one.
I came back to Thailand with my sons.
Then they at least knew .
Pressure from ex was too intense then. She saw the threat, that i would take the children on my terms not hers.
She married my friend after the divorce.
"Friend, you' re now father, not me,
Enough , i have a life too and a love who waits for me and i will go,".
I did.
I returned to visit, to be in two places at once again, but it was impossible. I had to make my life.
So there you go.
