A chap died at work yesterday so the Senior Asset Management Consultative Steering Committee is inviting everyone to a sausage on a stick function to build morale and let the boss know what we think of him. No doubt the young ones will turn up p**sed and full of testicles. Should be fun.

You forgot "w@nkers"

I will add just briefly that this mob lined everyone up against the wall a week before Xmas and told them that they can be replaced by contractors tomorrow. So half of them handed their notice in on the spot and moved onto better paying (and better) jobs.
2 months later some have been replaced by unhappy contractors at twice the price and the company can't figure why profit margins have plummeted,
Or maybe they can, hence the kind offer of a sausage on a piece of bread (in our own time).

(in our own time)

Typical, real typical and oh so inspiring. On the other hand this should mean beer is provided ?

They play their silly games until the end of the financial year and then "what the"..
Enough, goodnight.

Have seen that more than once, threats made by dinosaur managers,

The guys with a bit of gumption take up the offer of a pay off and move on, all thats left are the old boys club of outdated good company men managers just hanging on in there for their pension.

The ones under them who should be in charge have sussed out its "dead mans shoes" as far as promotion goes and move on, the young apprentices dont have a clue and are shit scared of losing their jobs so they stay and put up with the crap.

End result a brain drain, when these old coffin dodgers finally do get the heave ho, there is no one to take their place.

I did some consulting work briefly for Norwich Union in the early 1990's at a time when they were downsizing many of their departments. I was sat in the IT Dept at the time which was permanently arranged like some  O'Level exam room with all desks facing the front of the room and evenly spaced. On the day the layoffs were announced all staff were told to be at their desks and to remain there until noon, if their phone rang they would be instructed to go to the nearby meeting room where the dept. manager and two members of human resource were waiting. The silence in the room was only interrupted by the sound of a telephone on someone's desk, summoning  them to the slaughter, the routine was always the same - person stands up, walks into room, ten minutes later walks out, sometimes in tears, packs up belongings and walks out, all in silence. One chap simply picked up his stuff and walked out when his phone rang and didn't even bother going into the room. At noon about one third of the desks were empty and everyone broke for lunch knowing the process was over and done with, the sense of relief and other emotions hung heavy. After watching that process for three hours, my partner and I stood up and walked into the IT Directors office and terminated our contracts and unleashed a torrent of sh*t on him for treating people that way but it didn't really register with him. It was by far the absolute worst example of abuse in the workplace I have ever experienced in over 50 years.