You are semi correct, let it go.

But deeper as always it is a face thingy.

Altruism is virtually non existant in Thai culture, thus if I do a favour out of no reason, then the person favoured is obliged to you.

Think feudalism and obligation.

I often become unstuck by this; I act as a gentleman and offer to help, but it is misinterpreted as wanting something back.

Sure this exists in Western culture, but when I offer favours to a lady, she , Western, knows I am either sincere or making a pass. These are subtltle nuances.

Thai driving is the best example; in the UK to give way gives one a glow of being selfless, of being kind, of altruism.

For Thai, it is a loss of face, an act of giving up superiority. I've got a bigger car (pickup) than you.

I was crossing the road the other day, yes on foot, not much space between the oncoming cars; I did the usual hand out signal that I was about to cross, the inside lane car slowed down, no did not stop, perish the thought, and a taxi (love them) instead of slowing down, accelerated and swerveved around me.

Gren Jai!

Okay - very good - I understand better now.

Thanks Buhi

Yes that is Jeff Lynne and Ringo Starr!

OK Jock, you owe me one!

There is no direct translation.

For me, its fear of the consequences of ones actions.

Fear of offending someone higher up the pecking order of society and therefore having to deal with a percieved loss of face.

The phrase is greng jai เกรงใจ

Google translate gives the translation as thoughtful, but its more than that.

Excellent read, something many farang visitors have never heard of, hence the cries of the PC brigade on other sites.

www.thai-blogs.com/2009/03/11/last-bastion-of-the-orient/

Not only found in Thailand, but all over Asia.

Years ago we peons/peasants would have tugged out forelock and doffed our cap.

Buhi, try explaing to some one why น้ำใจ Nam jai goes down the way but เกรงใจ Greng jai goes up the way.

Greng jai, thats why kids cannot question teachers, why elders have to be listened to and never called on to expalain, even though every just says oh lor, the reason why a subordinate cant question his supervisor, etc etc.

I watched an excellent article on Russia during the time of The Cold War, and why they screwed up.

Peasant girl working on a production line, moulding soles onto soldiers boots, the machine was set up wrongly, the moulded sole was going back to front, she couldnt question it, the machine had decided the State knew best, you are a peon, you are paid to do your job, not to think or question your superiors.

Greng jai, also used as a kop out.

Sat drinking with Somchai, he has had a few and knows he should go home, his mrs has phoned him three times already, your food is on the table, please come home.
Somchai wants to carry on drinking, so he tells his mrs he has to greng jai someone higher up the pecking order, his mrs DARENT question it, even though she knows he will beat shit out of her for his food being cold when he gets home.