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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2015 23:19:05 GMT 7
MObile phone signal blockers, the best HK50 I ever spent, and none of them could figure out why the phones weren't working they still can't when I have a dinner party.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2015 23:20:39 GMT 7
I am reclining on my opium sofa as they're all in Shanghai. Mamy what? nah just my night gear.
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Post by rgs2001uk on Nov 14, 2015 23:32:16 GMT 7
Okay dokay, here goes, hope you have adopted a non p**s my self laughing position, I will not be held responsible for the actions of your husband later as you enter the boudoir wearing adult diapers, . For those of a nervous disposition, or non PC bent, please leave this page now. Years ago I landed at DM, my Farmers were hanging down like a bunch of grapes, ready for the picking. Got in the taxi, had to sit with one ass cheek on the seat, the other hanging out the window, stinking of Perp H. Anyway, got to the Amarai Boulevard on Suk soi 5, crashed out in utter exhaustion, sweat dripping from my fevered brow. That night Barfined a ladyboy from Casanova bar to do the business, cheaper than going to Bumrungrad Hospital round the corner. Got her back to the hotel room, problem was, she lacked the neccesary appendage, she was post op, seeing the look of dissapointment in my face, she offered me a freebie. I told her, I dont want to give you one, I want you to give me one. Typical Thai ingenuity, she said wait here. She effed off across the soi, and came back 15 minutes later with a Fooodland bag, with 3 cucumbers of varying sizes inside, she told me, take your pick.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2015 23:37:18 GMT 7
Any comment would be superfluous, I'm speechless. You didn't perchance check to see before you fined her if she had tackle? hahahahahahaha a quick feel? Cucumbers. Were they cold ones? Classic rgs, doesn't get any better than this gem.
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Post by rgs2001uk on Nov 14, 2015 23:48:11 GMT 7
Any comment would be superfluous, I'm speechless. You didn't perchance check to see before you fined her if she had tackle? hahahahahahaha a quick feel? Cucumbers. Were they cold ones?Classic rgs, doesn't get any better than this gem. Course they were, take it you have never suffered with farmers, gawd the relief. Sorry didnt have time for a reach around check, dear viewer, please take this as a warning of the shody goods on offer in that part of town. I had other things on my mind.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2015 0:22:59 GMT 7
Okay dokay, here goes, hope you have adopted a non p**s my self laughing position, I will not be held responsible for the actions of your husband later as you enter the boudoir wearing adult diapers, . For those of a nervous disposition, or non PC bent, please leave this page now. Years ago I landed at DM, my Farmers were hanging down like a bunch of grapes, ready for the picking. Got in the taxi, had to sit with one ass cheek on the seat, the other hanging out the window, stinking of Perp H. Anyway, got to the Amarai Boulevard on Suk soi 5, crashed out in utter exhaustion, sweat dripping from my fevered brow. That night Barfined a ladyboy from Casanova bar to do the business, cheaper than going to Bumrungrad Hospital round the corner. Got her back to the hotel room, problem was, she lacked the neccesary appendage, she was post op, seeing the look of dissapointment in my face, she offered me a freebie. I told her, I dont want to give you one, I want you to give me one. Typical Thai ingenuity, she said wait here. She effed off across the soi, and came back 15 minutes later with a Fooodland bag, with 3 cucumbers of varying sizes inside, she told me, take your pick. Priceless TIT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2015 0:24:03 GMT 7
First dish of the evening ois on the table - glass noodle seafood salad - looks amazing.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2015 0:30:11 GMT 7
Awwww ffs I don't know what happened there - some weird concoction was thrown into a frying pan - and I had to run from the kitchen. It was like a CS gas attack, and the young cook is wondering what's wrong with me -
How do they do it?
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smokie36
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Post by smokie36 on Nov 15, 2015 1:01:26 GMT 7
Hahaha you got Wok Ganned...its the Thai way!,_
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2015 16:57:44 GMT 7
Mr blether, how did the events of last night unfold....waiting with baited breath for the next installment. Pics of dishes please I bet it was a great evening of food, fun and friends. rgs- That story of yours which still has me laughing today on a reread-I trust no post op ladyboys wielding cucumbers were harmed in the harvesting of your farmers
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Post by rgs2001uk on Nov 15, 2015 17:25:43 GMT 7
Yes I must apologise to Blether for sidetracking his thread, I hope he had an enjoyable evening and isnt suffering any side effects this morning. Miss Trix, sorry to dissapoint, there will be no more tales told on here. (Not that anyone would actually be that daft to believe them) However Blether is free to plagiarise for his next novel, cant wait to read it,
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2015 17:34:23 GMT 7
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2015 17:42:29 GMT 7
Mr blether, how did the events of last night unfold....waiting with baited breath for the next installment. Pics of dishes please I bet it was a great evening of food, fun and friends. rgs- That story of yours which still has me laughing today on a reread-I trust no post op ladyboys wielding cucumbers were harmed in the harvesting of your farmers The night was beyond everything I hoped for - the food was incredible - and the music suggestions from this thread brought a lot of hilarity. And hilarity was the theme of the evening - more than once my Thai pals literally hit the deck laughing. Rolling around on the floor complaining that we had to stop telling funny stories because it was hurting their stomachs - and what were the stories of? Well, among them, the absurdities of life ( to them ) in Scotland - and the absurdities of life in Thailand. It was great listening to them describing how many layers of clothing they wear before they venture out the door. And when they walk into a bar or restaurant, they spend about ten minutes stripping off cos it's too warm. The rgs ladyboy story was the first time one of them collapsed - a wee, petite middle class Thai girl studying Business at Strathclyde Uni - on the deck screaming with laughter at how considerate the ladyboy was giving rgs the choice of cucumbers. Then I told the sad story of Nung the Kwai Collector. Poor Nung, standing there by the bed of her declining grandmother - annoyed as hell because grandma had been her most profitable scam to date. She had brought her Kawi farang to her bedside to see her lying there so frail - and it had worked every time. The 15,000 medical bill was inflated to 45,000 baht - and the Kwai happily paid, thinking that his girl was different. Litte did he know that when they were at the queue to pay, Nung had a few words in Thai with the cashier - she was to get a 2,000 baht tip for inflating the bill. The Kwai would be sent to get the taxi - and the profit handed to sad faced Nung. ( at that point gales of laughter erupted ). But now Yai - she really was going to die. What was Nug going to do? her scammed ruined! A nurse saw her predicament, and offered Nung a solution - "Come with me - we have a special room," the nurse said. Nung followed on dutifully - and the nuurse opened the door to show a dozen or more Thais of all ages waiting. "Nung, these are our professional sick relatives - we have everything from sick toddlers, to ailing grannies - you'll never run out of actors so that you can scam the farangs. Just make sure we get some profit." Well that was it, every Thai at the party except one hit the deck. Except one - looking at me with a serious face. "What is it?" I asked concerned. A moment later a wee pursed lip, then a question - "Blether, roo ma - who told you about that?"
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2015 17:52:23 GMT 7
Yes I must apologise to Blether for sidetracking his thread, I hope he had an enjoyable evening and isnt suffering any side effects this morning. Miss Trix, sorry to dissapoint, there will be no more tales told on here. (Not that anyone would actually be that daft to believe them) However Blether is free to plagiarise for his next novel, cant wait to read it, Loved the story - loved the contributions - You know, I think I will write a few humorous short stories. Always my preference and over the past couple of years I've been entwined in too many serious subjects -
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Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2015 19:12:16 GMT 7
Professional victims and scammers peddling bulls**t.... and there is always some daft dope who falls for them, not necessarily restricted to Thai bs artists either. There all sorts of cons and scams in life, it's called human manure
Food pics please bleth.
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