Post by Fletchsmile on Apr 30, 2015 21:30:01 GMT 7
So far today Fletch has had one of those only in Thailand days which is far from ferkin amazing, and would much rather have had one of those orgasmic Meg Ryan restaurant days in When Harry met Sally. So thought I'd use the Moan Box for what it was intended for, rather than orgasmic delight as the picture suggests:
Woke up around 6 o'clock - great I'm still alive, and from there it really went downhill.
Get the wife and kids up for school - never easy getting one female to be on time, let alone 3, especially with Thai blood running thru their veins as to what constitutes timing. Where else in the world do "normal" people have to get up at that hour to get your kids in school for 7.30. 7.30 FFS - What's wrong with 9 o'clock like I used to? Free as well!
They start early to avoid the traffic you might say. Complete b*ll*cks. Driving and traffic are just as bad early in the morning, and we happen to have to go along one of the worst roads in Thailand to get to school - Thanon Chan. I used to count the different traffic mis-demeanours and violations and general stupidity every morning but ran out of fingers and toes, and got fed up taking my shoes off as it always went beyond 20 anyway. One day I'll take a video, as that's a whole thread in itself. Needless to say traffic was bad, and gets worse as you get near school with all the hi-so parents in their cars each believing traffic should rotate around them.
So drop the kids off at school around 7.35 - yes bit late again. No surprise there. Actually takes longer to enter the school grounds, drop off the kids and exit than the rest of the journey of 10km plus together
Next stop immigration. F***in marvellous, wire my nipples up to electrodes to celebrate that one.
"Luckily" we had the pleasure of going the same place last week for my 90 days parole, so we had recently seen "some" of the ways they currently disrupt the traffic flow and misplace the traffic cones to confuse you. Yes and feel free to block off the u-turn we would like to have taken too - "speed up the traffic" my a**e. Show me a traffic cop who has ever improved traffic flow in Thailand and I'll show you a flying elephant.
Would we make the left turn needed after the u-turn in a few hundred metres across 4 lanes of traffic, with all those morons who flash their headlights to say get the f**k out of the way I'm coming through, instead of the nice pleasant flash of the lights " please you go ahead" back home. Eventually made the left turn.
Arrived at Chaeng Wattana's immigration complex at 8.15. Before going thru the scanner was asked to sign in. WTF? People had written names like Kevin and that's it. Most people just walk thru and ignore them. Too polite to do so myself I guess. Just means I'll be further down the queue. 8.17 outside immigration. Massive queue already snaking the way round, with no real organisation. Joined the back - novel approach I know - hit me for it. 8.30 the doors open. Some people completely jump the queue, some actually bother.
The cleaning lady (WTF?) directs people to queue in her very broken English. "One by one" "Use the back door", what she meant was "form a single line please", "join the back of the queue". Only in Thailand do you get the cleaning lady organising queues. Certain nationalities - forgive the stereotyping - again just ignore her. Eventually get inside and get my queue number L14. Good they're already on L5 - should be served around 9, and maybe away 9.30-ish.
Just after 9 my turn. Documents same as last year. Everything same as last year. Should be OK. Nope. Sorry your photos need to be in colour. But I used black and white last year and the year before. No they have to be colour. What do they do with them anyway? You can still see the house number, fridge and all the other stuff same as last year. What difference does colour make? Neither the Thai or English list says colour photos. OK so I have them on USB and can print them out I think, not too bad.
Next one - you need to update your passbook. Yes I did yesterday - last night I took out 1 baht see, 29 April close of yesterday. That stupid ritual as otherwise your passbook won't update. Here's the letter from my bank too confirming it. No they need today, why hadn't I done today?. Well the answer was my branch doesn't up until 10am. If I go there first, and then come and get a queue number it's nearly 11 o'clock. No chance of before lunch, and I get served afternoon for the whole day wasted and likely stuck in traffic after 3pm. Could you not accept like in previous years the balance at close of yesterday, knowing the bank isn't open yet today? No we need it updated. No mercy today for me though
So off to Central Chaeng Wattana - nearest branch of my bank 7km away - got a taxi - been here too long to risk parking. Doesn't open until 11am. Great an hour or so wait in the heat. Luckily we know Tops is open 24 hours, so go round the other door and say you're going to Tops. One of those Thai style excuses. Walk thru the dark to the supermarket. At least you're inside in the aircon. What sort of rule is that though your not allowed in, unless you go round the back to the other door, say you're going to Tops then can go anywhere you want after that.
Have a cup of coffee. Hot black coffee in a starbucks type cup with a straw but from the Tops food court - yes straw in hot coffee - welcome to Thailand! Arrive at the bank. Still time to wait until 11am. Security guard and cleaner come to serve me. Really I don't know why Thailand has office staff, let the cleaners from Isaan run things, can't be any worse and they seem to know what they're doing. Actually the bank was great. Maybe some merit carried over from my last life. Took out another 1 baht so my passbook updated until 30 April
Back to immigration. See the miserable woman again. Wait to go in next. Wait 10 mins, then just going in (11.30 now) and some American guy with his wife comes and says they're coming back with more extra documents. Me too I said extra documents too. Whats your number mine is L14. His is way after, but says he'll only be a few minutes. Sit down in the chair and tell him to wait his turn as I've been here since 8.20 (3 hours ++) and just come back and he's probably about an hour.
Bureaucrat sees to them first... A few conversations with Mrs.bureaucrat, about the economy - perhaps this mess contributes why don't I go back and live in England? I mention about 2 and half wasted hours to update my passbook, on top of an hour or so, might have been better spent working or helping the Thai economy. Enquired as to the logic of updating my passbook today anyway, and if I really wanted I could go and withdraw it all 5 mins after the visa process. So what did an extra couple of hours or so prove?
Then on to the next bureaucrat. Finally just before lunch (phew!) get done - otherwise an additional hour++. Done - Temporarily of course and come back in 28 days. Go outside, 2 d**kheads have double parked but at right angles to us. One in front, one behind. Too lazy to park a bit further away. So I push one out of the way
Arrive at work. Late for lunch, as most people go before 12. Most of the decent food gone
Not a great working day. Leaving work - lifts full coming down, plus on the ones possibly with room, people frantically press the close button so the door closes before you get chance to try and get in and they don't have to wait for you. So did the Thai way of go up first! then go down.
Find a taxi. Several go past or stop and screw their face up and say no. Then people start appearing all lower down the road, so they're a bit lower down and get just before you. Some woman arrived 1 minute ago, gets "my cab" sort of smiles at me and drives off - not exactly merit making or "nam jai" is it? Tried "Grab Taxi" to book on my phone. What sort of cr*p is that? A dozen failed attempts including the 20 baht extra and offering 20 then 30 then 50 baht tip on top and still no takers. Never yet actually used that app.
Thought I'd finally got my cab, as one was slowing down and stopping. Then the orange "crazy bus" cuts in front, stops several hundred metres away from the stop so people can get on and off, just in front of me. Blocks the road. So the taxi drives round it and off, not bothering to stop. After 25 mins finally get a cab. Then a traffic jam along the "expressway", as due to the lift delays and cab delays plus tomorrow being a holiday plus end of the month, plus neagtive karma accumulated during the day due to frustration, traffic is bad. Took an hour and a half instead of just under 30 mins. So that's nearly 2 hours total instead of 30 mins - if I could just have forced my way into a lift a bit earlier....
Finally got home - a 2 hour journey door to door. get home and everything is dark. Power cut!!! Only ours and another couple of condos though...
So what's the opposite of Amazing Thailand and how's your day been?
Cheers
Fletch
Woke up around 6 o'clock - great I'm still alive, and from there it really went downhill.
Get the wife and kids up for school - never easy getting one female to be on time, let alone 3, especially with Thai blood running thru their veins as to what constitutes timing. Where else in the world do "normal" people have to get up at that hour to get your kids in school for 7.30. 7.30 FFS - What's wrong with 9 o'clock like I used to? Free as well!
They start early to avoid the traffic you might say. Complete b*ll*cks. Driving and traffic are just as bad early in the morning, and we happen to have to go along one of the worst roads in Thailand to get to school - Thanon Chan. I used to count the different traffic mis-demeanours and violations and general stupidity every morning but ran out of fingers and toes, and got fed up taking my shoes off as it always went beyond 20 anyway. One day I'll take a video, as that's a whole thread in itself. Needless to say traffic was bad, and gets worse as you get near school with all the hi-so parents in their cars each believing traffic should rotate around them.
So drop the kids off at school around 7.35 - yes bit late again. No surprise there. Actually takes longer to enter the school grounds, drop off the kids and exit than the rest of the journey of 10km plus together
Next stop immigration. F***in marvellous, wire my nipples up to electrodes to celebrate that one.
"Luckily" we had the pleasure of going the same place last week for my 90 days parole, so we had recently seen "some" of the ways they currently disrupt the traffic flow and misplace the traffic cones to confuse you. Yes and feel free to block off the u-turn we would like to have taken too - "speed up the traffic" my a**e. Show me a traffic cop who has ever improved traffic flow in Thailand and I'll show you a flying elephant.
Would we make the left turn needed after the u-turn in a few hundred metres across 4 lanes of traffic, with all those morons who flash their headlights to say get the f**k out of the way I'm coming through, instead of the nice pleasant flash of the lights " please you go ahead" back home. Eventually made the left turn.
Arrived at Chaeng Wattana's immigration complex at 8.15. Before going thru the scanner was asked to sign in. WTF? People had written names like Kevin and that's it. Most people just walk thru and ignore them. Too polite to do so myself I guess. Just means I'll be further down the queue. 8.17 outside immigration. Massive queue already snaking the way round, with no real organisation. Joined the back - novel approach I know - hit me for it. 8.30 the doors open. Some people completely jump the queue, some actually bother.
The cleaning lady (WTF?) directs people to queue in her very broken English. "One by one" "Use the back door", what she meant was "form a single line please", "join the back of the queue". Only in Thailand do you get the cleaning lady organising queues. Certain nationalities - forgive the stereotyping - again just ignore her. Eventually get inside and get my queue number L14. Good they're already on L5 - should be served around 9, and maybe away 9.30-ish.
Just after 9 my turn. Documents same as last year. Everything same as last year. Should be OK. Nope. Sorry your photos need to be in colour. But I used black and white last year and the year before. No they have to be colour. What do they do with them anyway? You can still see the house number, fridge and all the other stuff same as last year. What difference does colour make? Neither the Thai or English list says colour photos. OK so I have them on USB and can print them out I think, not too bad.
Next one - you need to update your passbook. Yes I did yesterday - last night I took out 1 baht see, 29 April close of yesterday. That stupid ritual as otherwise your passbook won't update. Here's the letter from my bank too confirming it. No they need today, why hadn't I done today?. Well the answer was my branch doesn't up until 10am. If I go there first, and then come and get a queue number it's nearly 11 o'clock. No chance of before lunch, and I get served afternoon for the whole day wasted and likely stuck in traffic after 3pm. Could you not accept like in previous years the balance at close of yesterday, knowing the bank isn't open yet today? No we need it updated. No mercy today for me though
So off to Central Chaeng Wattana - nearest branch of my bank 7km away - got a taxi - been here too long to risk parking. Doesn't open until 11am. Great an hour or so wait in the heat. Luckily we know Tops is open 24 hours, so go round the other door and say you're going to Tops. One of those Thai style excuses. Walk thru the dark to the supermarket. At least you're inside in the aircon. What sort of rule is that though your not allowed in, unless you go round the back to the other door, say you're going to Tops then can go anywhere you want after that.
Have a cup of coffee. Hot black coffee in a starbucks type cup with a straw but from the Tops food court - yes straw in hot coffee - welcome to Thailand! Arrive at the bank. Still time to wait until 11am. Security guard and cleaner come to serve me. Really I don't know why Thailand has office staff, let the cleaners from Isaan run things, can't be any worse and they seem to know what they're doing. Actually the bank was great. Maybe some merit carried over from my last life. Took out another 1 baht so my passbook updated until 30 April
Back to immigration. See the miserable woman again. Wait to go in next. Wait 10 mins, then just going in (11.30 now) and some American guy with his wife comes and says they're coming back with more extra documents. Me too I said extra documents too. Whats your number mine is L14. His is way after, but says he'll only be a few minutes. Sit down in the chair and tell him to wait his turn as I've been here since 8.20 (3 hours ++) and just come back and he's probably about an hour.
Bureaucrat sees to them first... A few conversations with Mrs.bureaucrat, about the economy - perhaps this mess contributes
why don't I go back and live in England? I mention about 2 and half wasted hours to update my passbook, on top of an hour or so, might have been better spent working or helping the Thai economy. Enquired as to the logic of updating my passbook today anyway, and if I really wanted I could go and withdraw it all 5 mins after the visa process. So what did an extra couple of hours or so prove?Then on to the next bureaucrat. Finally just before lunch (phew!) get done - otherwise an additional hour++. Done - Temporarily of course and come back in 28 days. Go outside, 2 d**kheads have double parked but at right angles to us. One in front, one behind. Too lazy to park a bit further away. So I push one out of the way
Arrive at work. Late for lunch, as most people go before 12. Most of the decent food gone
Not a great working day. Leaving work - lifts full coming down, plus on the ones possibly with room, people frantically press the close button so the door closes before you get chance to try and get in and they don't have to wait for you. So did the Thai way of go up first! then go down.
Find a taxi. Several go past or stop and screw their face up and say no. Then people start appearing all lower down the road, so they're a bit lower down and get just before you. Some woman arrived 1 minute ago, gets "my cab" sort of smiles at me and drives off - not exactly merit making or "nam jai" is it? Tried "Grab Taxi" to book on my phone. What sort of cr*p is that? A dozen failed attempts including the 20 baht extra and offering 20 then 30 then 50 baht tip on top and still no takers. Never yet actually used that app.
Thought I'd finally got my cab, as one was slowing down and stopping. Then the orange "crazy bus" cuts in front, stops several hundred metres away from the stop so people can get on and off, just in front of me. Blocks the road. So the taxi drives round it and off, not bothering to stop. After 25 mins finally get a cab. Then a traffic jam along the "expressway", as due to the lift delays and cab delays plus tomorrow being a holiday plus end of the month, plus neagtive karma accumulated during the day due to frustration, traffic is bad. Took an hour and a half instead of just under 30 mins. So that's nearly 2 hours total instead of 30 mins - if I could just have forced my way into a lift a bit earlier....
Finally got home - a 2 hour journey door to door. get home and everything is dark. Power cut!!! Only ours and another couple of condos though...
So what's the opposite of Amazing Thailand and how's your day been?
Cheers
Fletch
